(This piece had been initially posted at TheLStop.org)
Within every lesbian community there is certainly a tale as old as time, a proverb as common since it is contentious: Bi women cheat, betray, and eventually leave — never for the next girl, but also for a guy. Like people who flee the tumults of town life for quieter much less pastures that are complicated bisexual females might appear destined, into the eyes of homosexual ladies, to trade the grit and hardships of queer life for the suburbs of heteroville. As a bisexual woman myself, we can’t reject that one thing about that label that bands true; bi ladies do appear to romantically engage, or “end up” with men much more usually than with woman. It is this actually because we prefer a full life of white-picket ease and convenience? Or can it be that, in terms of relationship between queer ladies, the overall game happens to be rigged from the beginning?
The lived experiences of one group have almost certainly colored the perceptions of another, however unfairly or inaccurately like many stereotypes. But i really believe that it is time and energy to examine the pervasive, internal workings of heterosexual fitness that, whether any one of us within the bisexual community wish to admit or perhaps not, have condemned countless bisexual/lesbian pairings to failure. That I can’t speak for anyone else’s experiences, I’ve written this article with two particular perspectives in mind while I understand:
1. We invested the very first 2 full decades of my entire life residing as being a closeted trans woman — a bisexual male into the outside world.
2. I’ve since transitioned, and now live as a woman that is bisexual.
Lost In Translation
My experiences with relationship, both pre and post transitioning, have actually magnified the distinctions in just how courtship and sexual pursuit are modeled both for genders. (more…)