“If you would like see a brand new partner more later on, see them less now.”
If true to life had been a comedy that is romantic beginning a fresh relationship would get something such as this: You’d secure eyes, once you understand in a few deep and religious method in which you’d found usually the one, and from that minute ahead tumble head-over-heels into love, not to be divided once again. Cue the montage for the two of you laughing, keeping arms, and riding a tandem bike.
Needless to say, in true to life, enduring relationships have a tendency to produce a bit less cinematically.
We really like—someone with whom we have instant chemistry and infinite things to talk about—the desire to spend all of our time with that person right away can obviously be intense when we meet someone. But Seth Meyers, Psy.D., a psychologist that is clinical Los Angeles, recently proposed a guideline in a post for Psychology Today which he claims will both minmise heartbreak and set a budding relationship up to achieve your goals.
Meyers calls it “the once-a-week guideline.” For the very first month that you’re dating somebody new, just see one another once per week.
The logic? We develop a false sense of intimacy and connectedness—which often leads to feeling deeply invested in a person before we’ve gotten to know them when we spend a lot of concentrated time with someone we’ve just met. (more…)